So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
