all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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