Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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