This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
