Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize