Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
