sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
home. puking in laundry basket.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
How external is "for external use only"?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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