Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
