Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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