My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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