I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
