I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
