oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
