I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
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Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
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I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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