I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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