Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Princesses don't give blow jobs
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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