help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
