More tranny stories later!
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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