He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
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You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
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You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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