its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
