just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
