i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
