I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
