someone get that fucking seahorse.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize