i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
