Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
