You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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