Do you still have your period?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
