guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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