After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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