I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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