why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
