Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize