okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Randomize
