In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
And then he peed in my hair
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