Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
