well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
