so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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