We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
