Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
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Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
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I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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