I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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