Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
lol hangovers are for mortals.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
