You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
