Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
