smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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