6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
When did angry sex become our thing?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
