i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
