i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Randomize
