he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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