I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
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You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
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I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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