I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
