like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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