So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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