guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
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I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
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But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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