So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
