Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
