i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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