For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
