i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
