I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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