He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
