i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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